Because of my brother, Du, I cannot say this word
The word that later becomes Lucifer’s name
Never have I understood why
Perhaps I am afraid of it.
Perhaps it is the charm he presents
Or the image of hounds at someone’s heels while I adore all animals
Or maybe it is the connection to music which abounds in my soul
As Lucifer leads the heavenly choirs to a mastery
It puzzles me that Jesus Christ
The One who is all inclusive
Never isolating or shunning
Does not take Lucifer under his wing
Talk to his mother, teach him, forgive him, lead him.
(Don’t angels have mothers?)
For her heart must be broken
In the words of Albert Camus
“I have but one duty, that is to love.”
As for me
How many times have I bargained?
This I do not know
Only that it is unclean
This feeling of doom
And there is a sick kind of knowing when I do it.
So I lurch forward
Asking for God, as I know Him Her It They, to choose to help me
To surrender my will and pour in His
To bind and revoke all enemies of God
While listening for that still quiet voice
I ask that God use me as He will this day
Use me in a way that is mighty or small
Seen and unseen, messy or carefully measured.
In honor of my brother, Du
Who taught me about Jesus Christ.
Our lovely, noble, Princes of Peace, Christ and Du.