What brought me?
I tell her the story of my
Mayday Mayday Mayday
at my daughter’s
I tell her of my discovery
After years of various therapists
Of ten years of dehumanizing
dissociated
Conjugal intimacy
Mixed with blackout choking
blood
forced pornography
violence
It takes a few breaths
and beats of time
My throat catches
It comes out
After flying to
and being with
my precious child-of-my-womb
This may have triggered
The Lapse
The falling episode
down her flight of stairs.
I had believed that if
I did not acquiesce
My lover would turn to use my children
For his needs
And I have stuffed this memory
While in Recovery
For a very long time
There is more work to do.
Memory recovered in Intermountain Inpatient Rehab, Boise, Idaho.
I am grateful.
Deeply ~ to my family and to Intermountain Hospital,
specifically Ms. G. P. Hicks & Dr. H. Adamson.
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