Yet Another New Therapist

What brought me?

I tell her the story of my

Mayday Mayday Mayday

at my daughter’s

I tell her of my discovery

After years of various therapists

Of ten years of dehumanizing

dissociated

Conjugal intimacy

Mixed with blackout choking

blood

forced pornography

violence

It takes a few breaths

and beats of time

My throat catches

It comes out

After flying to

and being with

my precious child-of-my-womb

This may have triggered

The Lapse

The falling episode

down her flight of stairs.

I had believed that if

I did not acquiesce

My lover would turn to use my children

For his needs

And I have stuffed this memory

While in Recovery

For a very long time

There is more work to do.

Memory recovered in Intermountain Inpatient Rehab, Boise, Idaho.
I am grateful. Deeply ~ to my family and to Intermountain Hospital, specifically Gina Pratt Hicks & Dr. Adamson.