Not so very long ago I found myself involved in two relationships back-to-back. Both are puzzling to me and I find that after four marriages followed by 13 years single, they made absolutely no sense. Yet the four marriages did not “make sense” either with the exception of a desperate need to care and […]continue reading The Dark Side of Attachment Addiction
The signs were there. I ignored them. The comfort of being loved was overwhelmingly sought by me. Now, I must deal with the loss. Feel it. Experience it. Allow it. Forgiveness is important. It takes less energy and allows me to reclaim my own power. To resent or hate or withhold forgiveness is giving away […]continue reading I Will Love Again
Equivocation Note: Title refers to avoidance of an issue. It is a daily quest for me to dive under the cover of uncertainty as I polish and spit shine life’s oft exploding safety helmets during bouts of weary depression. For certain messages assail me. I hunger and am thirst obsessed, asking to step aside ghosts of […]continue reading Equivocate
We are many stories ~ while some are not so pretty, there are many for which I am grateful. I sometimes endure severe depression combined with thoughts of a weariness so severe I find I no longer have energy to live. (My friends with military training call it life termination and this makes me laugh […]continue reading What If?
His primary legacy is one of abandonment. Thirty years. I ask myself what part did I play and would I do it again? I do not have an answer today. The service is remarkable and filled with awed acceptance, gratefulness for the last eight years of family involvement, and the knowledge that his homecoming is meaningful. […]continue reading The Father of My Children
Most days I have no regrets. Okay. Some days I have no regrets. IF I could do a ‘dream makeover’ version of my life I might: Avoid people who suck their teeth and spit; Allow all children to engage in their growth years without violence of any kind; Keep far away from humans who leave […]continue reading In My Dream Do-Over World
* I waken to a world of gray cold drizzle. It is my favorite weather. I especially love it if I can be at my lake cottage (the Fort). It is reminiscent of a tree house. * Located in north central Florida, it is a very old cobbled-together patch of two cottages and three outbuildings. […]continue reading A Time of Reflection